I have a one year old.

Its official - I have a one year old. We had such a lovely day together on her birthday  and obviously Eadie was spoilt rotten by our lovely families. We got Eadie a ball pit for her birthday which went down a storm with her! It was so cute coming down in the morning to that and her presents which friends and family had sent for her. She got books, clothes, toys - the lot! 

After her morning nap we did a cake smash in our kitchen! It took a bit of planning but the pictures came out amazing! Adam got some huge white sheets of paper from work and the night before we taped them up to the wall & floor. We got a few mint green paper Pom poms and wrote happy birthday Eadie in our light box. My mum and I were going to make her the cake to smash but as my mum has a broken leg and torn ligament we just didn't get round to it so luckily Asda had this colourful cake I picked up! It was nice because it had colourful smarties inside so added to the pictures well! I shall add in some pictures.

Devoted Dada!

After lunch we went to Millets farm to meet Father Christmas, it was adorable. They had real reindeer, elves who sang and played games with the children (lost on Eadie but she seemed quite amused) and then we met the big guy himself. He sat and read the children a book which you actually get given, a lovely little keep sake. I had Eadie on my lap whilst all the older children were sat on bean bags - to my surprise Eadie pushed herself away from me and crawled over to the children. It was the sweetest thing ever but really made me realise my baby is growing up so much! 

After we went to see my Mum and she got Eadie a unicorn rocking horse! It is hilarious! It makes a 'magical' sound too! Then in the evening Adams parents & sister came over and again - Eadie was spoilt rotten! I wonder if she will ever realise just how lucky and loved she really is. The next day I read the little card attached to the flowers Adams mum gave me, it said 'Love to you on this special day Emily, thank you for our beautiful granddaughter' Well I cried my eyes out! How sweet and thoughtful. 

The three of us had such a perfect day together. I did get emotional a few times and just couldn't believe a year had flown by. I kept saying this time last year I was doing this or that in hospital. It really has been the best year of my life - apart from the hospital stay back in August. Eadie has taught me so much in such a small amount of time. We can't believe what a bright little girl she is becoming & I can't wait to see what the future holds for us as a family. The day after I felt really quite depressed - I guess it was such a build up to it all, then seeing all our loved ones & then it was all over! Next year we might do her a little party - why not hey! 

Eadie is about to turn 1 ....!!!

I can't believe I am writing this - I can't believe how quickly this year has flown by. It's been the best year of my life without a doubt, having Eadie has changed my life completely and I wouldn't have it any other way. It's amazing the impact one tiny little person can have on your life,and the lives of your friends and family too. Eadie is so loved - loved beyond measure. She has doting grandparents and our friends have been so amazing with her. She has brought so much light and laughter in to our lives and some days I feel like I could just burst with pride because I MADE HER! Two nights ago she finally mastered how to pop the rings back on to the wooden pegs - I welled up! She is starting to change and develop skills so quickly now it's scary! My little baby is going and this new vibrant, determined, cheeky little girl is forming before my very eyes. 

This year has been a whirl wind of ups and downs for us as a family! I think all first years are quite like it for a new family! We have made so many lovely memories, and we have also had our fair share of tears and I can't cope moments. But somehow you just get through it. The most testing experience for us was our 5 day hospital stay - absolutely terrifying and an emotional roller coaster but we got out alive and stronger than ever. We all have our health and that is so important. One of my favourite days was when we had Eadies beautiful naming day and I was overwhelmed with the amount of people who wanted to be there for our little girl. Adams speech made me cry and I was just proud as punch all day long! 

I think becoming a mother is the most life changing thing you will ever go through and I definitely feel like you will not understand what I'm trying to say until you have had a baby. It's not just 'bam! I'm a mum' it's everything that changes. You have the obvious things like your body changing - but it's the mental things too. Your mindset just shifts completely. Things that mattered before mean nothing now - things you used to worry about seem insignificant & ridiculous. Your world becomes your mini human - to the point where most Mamas & myself kind of lose themselves in it all! You become consumed with your mini person - their routine, their development, their poop! And then you reach this point and think - who the hell am I?! 

I think as Mama's we are all too hard on ourselves, I criticise myself so much, it's really ridiculous. Instead of thinking 'wow I made it through a day, she's happy and healthy- good job' I lie awake at night and think I must do this better and I must do that. But being totally honest with you - it's all nonsense. We are all doing the best we can. When I look back at this year I've had I can honestly say I have never felt prouder of myself - I went through childbirth - I've raised this gorgeous, happy, little bundle up with the help of her amazing Daddy, I've managed to maintain who I am as a person (I think) & keep hold of the friends that matter the most. I have never ever learnt as much as I have this year and I will continue to learn every day as a Mama! 

Eadie I can't believe you are going to be one this time next week.. I am so unbelievably in love with you & will be for the rest of my life. You light up my world in so many ways - you bring me joy every single day and you also can test me sometimes too...! I just want you to be forever happy & I shall do everything in my power to help you & mould you in to an amazing mini human - the world is your oyster! 

I just wanted to get down in words how I was feeling on the run up to Eadies first birthday. It's a mixture of happiness and anxiety as you know the baby days are drawing to a close and it's hard to let go! I hope this makes sense and I don't sound too crazy! 

Thanks for reading! 

Love Emily 

xox